Before you pooh-pooh the idea of walking barefoot through a river of slime and pockets of quicksand, reflect for a moment on that most thrilling childhood adventure. The phenomenon that tickled our collective wanderlust and set our imaginations free. The inspiration for rope swings, puddle baths and makeshift obstacle courses in backyards the world over.

I am speaking, of course, about Pitfall.

For you young'uns, Pitfall was an Atari game in which a guy toured the wilderness, vaulting crocodile pools, dodging scorpions and swimming through underground swamps. Basically, it was all my dreams in like a hundred pixels.

To bring the dream to life?

Go to southern Utah.

I wanted to find Robber's Roost on the Dirty Devil River because 1) my friend said she couldn't, and 2) it has awesome history as a hideaway for outlaws. Now that I know how hard it is to reach, I can see why.

But the best reason is to get back in touch with your kid mind. The mind that sought out stuff to jump over, that made up new words to describe different kinds of mud, that knows real exploring happens where there are no trails. The mind that appreciates a Pitfall adventure.

Tip 1: Start in the wrong place.

Boyfriend, dog and I had planned to get to Robbers Roost on a trail that appears near Hanksville on some large-scale topo maps.

But in real life, dirt roads in the middle of nowhere are not well-marked. Trailheads are even worse. We ended up a couple of river bends away along Hell Hole Swale, at Lower Sand Slide. Looking down the scree to the Dirty Devil, we figured there would be no easier way to get to a place that successfully hid Butch Cassidy after decades of robberies.

So we headed straight down, stopping to hoist the dog out of a sandstone slot she had jumped into -- and then use the dog's leash to belay the boyfriend, who got stuck while rescuing the dog.

At the river bank we found no path. No footprints. Just silty mud that sucked our boots in to the ankles. Every time I pulled out of the mud, the release sent me flailing backward until I stomped my foot down for balance -- and planted it even deeper in another spot.

Tip 2: Lose the ugly-ass Crocs.

Once I decided to kick off my boots, I was left with hot pink Crocs, which I must admit are lightweight and functional as camp shoes. But for walking through mud beds? No.

Go barefoot. When will you have another chance to feel mud gushing between your toes for 2.5 miles and not step on a rusty nail or broken glass?

Tip 3: Find some jungle-y reeds and get lost.

There wasn't time to really explore Robbers Roost. It's long, with lots of side paths and technical canyoneering routes. But the lush valley in the redrock is its own destination. The cottonwoods were brilliant. Silver tassels danced on golden reeds so thick that 5-foot visibility was a stretch.

As we 'shwacked back to the river, I heard the boyfriend's voice. "I can't find you."

"Back here!"

"No, that's the echo ('echo'). Just wait ('wait')."

As he stumbled out of the tamarisk, his blistered foot plopped into a bed of shin-deep goo. There were cheers.

I poked at a muddy cut on my knee and realized it had been awhile since we'd collected this much evidence of a day well spent.

Erin Alberty has more Utah adventures and musings on her blog, poorpenmanship.com.