Last weekend I had big plans. I wanted to go see Maria Taylor at Kilby Court, watch the new Robert Downey Jr. movie and maybe even fit in a trip to Wendover for a friend's birthday. Instead I spent the weekend cooped up in my apartment with a nasty case of the flu.

Having the flu is bad enough, but, throw in my restless imagination coupled with the media's current obsession with swine flu and I had not just the flu, but also a horrible case of hypochondria. I've never spent so much time on the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Web sites reading every single swine flu symptom. I called my mother, the nurse, who calmed my fears and reminded me that I haven't been to Mexico in years. "Honey, you don't have the swine flu. You have the regular flu. Now stop worrying, try to eat something and relax."

Eat something? Not as easy as it sounds. I usually go out for dinner on Saturday night and therefore had no groceries on hand. I quickly found I don't need a fancy Zagat-rated restaurant for a Saturday night dinner when I can have saltine crackers and Peach Fresca. Hmm... maybe I really do have the palate of a 5-year-old.

With the eating out of the way, the only thing left to do was relax. I caught up on all of my favorite shows in a matter of hours. Boredom quickly set in. I attacked my e-mail inbox and got around to reading every single stupid forward anyone ever sent me. Oh my God, did you know you could easily get free GAP gift certificates if you just e-mail 900 of your closest friends?

Just when I couldn't think of anything else to do, the Brits saved me. I'd heard about the television series "The IT Crowd" from my office nerds, but never bothered watching it. In a desperate attempt for entertainment, I found the first season online through Netflix. I was able to watch the entire season without leaving the house, or the couch. I'm officially obsessed with the show and found myself comparing every single IT guy I have known to the show's two main characters. It was bliss.

Sunday was more of the same thing: TV, saltine crackers, and sleep. My saintly mother stopped calling in fear of waking me up and started sending text messages. Waking up to find a text message from my mother telling me to keep drinking is something I've been waiting my entire life for. Sadly, I don't think she meant that kind of drinking, but rather was reminding me to stay hydrated with boring Gatorade and water. I'm saving the text message and reading it again next weekend. By then the context of the message will be completely different.

Being sick is certainly miserable, but at least I had a few days dedicated to laziness and relaxation -- two of my favorite things. Not to mention, I found the key to making my spray tan last longer: not showering for days. In the end, having the flu saved me money and helped me catch up on some much-needed sleep.

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